Wednesday, January 28, 2009

How NOT to drive in the snow

With White Death Winter Storm Hank 2009 now past my area I wanted to say a few words on HOW NOT TO DRIVE IN THE SNOW:
  1. Tailgating -  Your SUV has great breaks and handles well on the snow, even when you're 6 inches from my bumper.  This is called the 6 inch rule.
  2. Don't Pass Responsibly - Take that icy lane next to mine and keep your bumper parallel to my mine for 5-10 minute before accelerating or decelerating.  The occasional swerve towards me was a nice touch.
  3. Decelerating - When you can't safely pass, don't decelerate to re-merge into slower traffic.  See point 2.
  4. Merging - When merging, remember the 6 inch rule.  See point 1.  Also, merging into spaces less then your car length is encouraged because the person that is now behind you will not mind suddenly slowing down on an icy road to give you the space you need for safe driving.
  5. Peaking - When driving down a road feel free to swerve half in and out of your lane to see through the snow tunnel of death to decide if it is safe to pass.
  6. Fiddling - Remember to always mess with the radio and TV/DVD combo unit while driving.
WTF were people thinking this morning?  If the snow wasn't cover the chick's license plate I would have written down the number and personally went to he house and flattened all her tired the next time it even threaten to flurry.  Some people just need they're driver's licence revoked.

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